Daily Devotion -Mar 20, 2026 (English)- The Art of Conduct
Sadhak's Question - Maharaj Ji, how can these two types of behavior be practiced? At first, anger arises from within - how can we hide it?
Shri Maharaj Ji's Answer -
You already practice two types of behavior in the world twenty-four hours a day.
There are many examples:
- You do not want a certain person to visit your home, yet when he arrives, you greet him with a smile, saying, "Please come in! Sit down." and then call out, "Bring tea for him." This is how you interact with everyone.
- If your boss scolds you, you bow and say, "Yes, sir!" But inwardly you think, "I wish I could slap this man. He speaks so rudely. He himself comes at twelve o'clock but scolds me for coming at eleven."
- We have been behaving in two ways since birth. Even a small child behaves in two ways. He cries loudly even when there are no tears, because he knows, "If I make a loud noise, my mother will agree to my demand."
As people grow older, they must learn to behave in two ways in the world; otherwise, they cannot survive. You must behave sweetly with everyone, even though you do not have sweet feelings for everyone internally.
Everyone already knows how to behave in two ways. People know to conduct themselves appropriately outwardly, despite having ill feelings within - this they can do. But to remain calm within while appearing strict or disturbed outwardly - this ordinary people cannot do.
To do this, you must use two types of powers -
i) Willpower - control the mind through mental strength.
ii) Spiritual power - practice according to the philosophical knowledge imparted by your Guru, the scriptures, and the Vedas.
Then the internal disturbance will gradually go away.
Even from a practical point of view, you must do this.
Suppose your wife, husband, father, or friend scolds or insults you. You feel hurt, but if you respond, their anger will increase further. Then they will behave even worse, which will make your anger flare up. You will react more harshly, and this competition of anger may escalate into serious incidents such as verbal abuse, violence, or even divorce.
Therefore, protect yourselves from such situations in this way -
- First of all, when someone insults you, remain silent or leave the place. People say, "If my husband scolds me and I do not respond, he will dominate me." This is a wrong principle. When he says something, if you cannot leave the place, at least remain silent. Do not respond. He will speak a few sentences, but when he realizes you are quiet, he, too, will become silent. But if you do not become quiet, why will he? Therefore, you must practice this.
Initially, you will not achieve perfection - you will not become free from anger instantly. But if someone's words make you 25% angry and you do not respond, you can later thoughtfully reason that anger away. However, if you respond, he will speak again, and you will reply - then that 25% anger becomes 100%. Then you will no longer be able to control that level of anger. Therefore, the best remedy is to remain silent.
- Cut the anger that has arisen within through discrimination.
Read and reflect upon yourself. Think:
i) If someone says, "You are selfish," think, "What he said is true. Saints, scriptures, and the Vedas have all taught this. I have also come to understand that everyone is selfish. I am selfish, too. All faults exist in me. Then why should I feel bad? What is there to be angry about?" Eliminate anger this way. Then, practice removing those faults through the knowledge imparted by your Guru and the scriptures.
If you ever forget this knowledge and harsh words slip out, stop yourself immediately - just as when a woman's sari catches fire while cooking, she instantly extinguishes it. If she neglects it, her whole body will burn. Similarly, if lust, anger, or greed arise within, and you suppress them immediately, they will easily be subdued. The more they increase, the harder they will be to control.
Anger is one of the main causes of unrest throughout the world. Speech is the most dangerous of all. Most household tension and unrest arise through speech, though there are very few real reasons behind them. Therefore, speak less, speak sweetly, and if someone insults you, end the matter right there - do not prolong it.
ii) Think, "He insulted me because he fears losing some self-interest because of me. He is angry because of his selfish motives. This will not last forever. Once he becomes normal, everything will be fine. Therefore, I will not respond."
Keep many such reasons before you and do not let matters escalate further - end them at once.
- The same behavior does not work in every situation - your response should depend on the person
- If someone younger than you misbehaves and you feel that scolding him will end the matter, then do so.
- But suppose someone older, such as your mother, father, or elder brother, speaks harshly. If you tell them that they are wrong, they will become even more angry because of their pride in being older than you. Even if you are right, they will not accept your words. Therefore, remain silent before them.
Thus, behave in accordance with the nature of the person and the situation. But under no circumstances should you become disturbed internally - you must remember this. Wherever necessary, act humbly outwardly. Even if a man is weak but points a revolver at you and says, "Hands up," do not think, "I am strong, I will slap him." No - he has a revolver in his hand. Quietly raise your hands.
So act according to time and circumstance. Being humble all the time is dangerous, and so is showing arrogance all the time. You must use your intellect to decide how to behave with each person. One who behaves the same way everywhere can never succeed in the world. If he is excessively humble before everyone, ruffians will not spare him. And if he is arrogant with everyone, he cannot benefit from the elders.
dākṣiṇyaṃ svajane dayā parijane
śāṭhyaṃ sadā durjane prītiḥ sādhujane
nayo nṛpajane vidvajjane cārjavam
śauryaṃ śatrujane kṣamā gurujane nārījane...
Different behavior is required with different people -
Behave lovingly with your own people, show compassion toward the poor, surrender to saints and sages, show respect toward the learned, and display valor toward enemies - only the one who behaves appropriately according to circumstances can succeed in the world.
However, even when expressing anger outwardly, ensure that it does not arise within. That is the key point. If anger truly arises and your heart burns, then your spiritual power is destroyed, and so is the other person's peace. You abuse him, and he abuses you in return - you suffer and so does he. What cleverness is there in that? True cleverness lies in not suffering loss yourself. When both suffer loss, there is no cleverness in it; both have become equal in loss.
Therefore, act thoughtfully, considering the person and their nature. Everyone's nature is different. Suppose your father has a harsh temperament - you must live with him all day. Where can you run? Therefore, understand his temperament and act accordingly so that the matter does not escalate and your work is not disturbed. This is wisdom. The one who applies the same formula everywhere is foolish - he will suffer everywhere and never succeed.
Keep this firmly established in your intellect:
- In the world -
Exercise your intellect fully in worldly dealings and keep philosophy in mind. Never trust anyone in the world blindly, whoever he may be, for all are bound by Maya. Every fault exists in everyone; all lie for their self-interest. No one in this world can do anything for another's happiness. Therefore, do not be deceived into thinking that someone loves you. No one has been born in this world who acts solely for another's happiness. Everyone acts for their own happiness. When self-interest is fulfilled, the relationship appears good; when self-interest diminishes, love diminishes; and when it ends, quarrels and fights begin.
Therefore, remain cautious in the world. This is difficult because you cannot know what lies in people's hearts, but you can judge from their behavior. The more someone bows to you and displays excessive humility, the more selfish he is likely to be. Become alert - such people are dangerous. Do not say to him, "You came with selfish motives," but understand it internally. You too should behave lovingly outwardly, but do not be deceived. Even if someone cuts off his head for you, know that he must have some deep self-interest. Use your intellect everywhere. Act in the world in such a way that your necessary work gets done - maintain social norms and meet the needs of the body. But sweet speech and speaking less are beneficial everywhere. Worldly conduct is an art - no one has mastered it completely. But the one who understands it well remains happy to some extent.
- With God and the saints -
There, behave opposite to how you behave in the world. Stop using your intellect there.
pāṇḍityaṃ nirvidya bālyena tiṣṭhāset -
Renounce your intellect and surrender to God and your Guru. Have complete faith in them and become like an innocent child. Never love anyone in the world. Love only God and saints - they alone will uplift your soul. '
Even if the world shows kindness, it is always for selfish reasons. And what can the world give you anyway? It cannot give you bliss. Whatever happiness it gives you will last only as long as self-interest remains. When self-interest lessens, love lessens; when self-interest ends, love ends.
Sadhak's Question - Maharaj Ji, is it proper to donate money earned through honest means, or that earned through wrong means?
Shri Maharaj Ji's Answer -
Donating wealth earned through wrong means is also acceptable, but such wealth should never be used for yourself - it must be donated. However, donating honestly earned money is true charity and yields greater fruit.
Even in wrongly earned wealth, there are subtleties. For example, you cunningly take one lakh rupees from a millionaire, and on the other hand, you snatch five rupees from a hungry poor man. The five rupees taken from that poor and hungry person, because of which he may remain hungry that day, is a greater sin. The one lakh rupees taken from a millionaire will not be considered a great fault if donated. There are subtle distinctions in such matters.
Sadhak's Question - Can we also perform charity in the world, such as giving old clothes or food to the poor?
Shri Maharaj Ji's Answer -
Whether you give food, clothes, or money to the poor, it is essentially the same. But the result depends on the inner nature of the recipient. As his inner state is, so will be the fruit. It may result in hell, heaven, or, if the recipient is a saint, in God's grace. The outcome depends on the worthiness of the recipient.
For example, a dacoit comes to your house, truly hungry, and says, "I am very hungry." Suppose you feed him out of compassion. If he gains strength from your food and then commits a murder, you will also share his sin, because your act indirectly enabled it. Therefore, charity should only be given to a worthy recipient. Donating to the unworthy brings adverse results.
If you say, "How do I know who is worthy?" you will still be held accountable. Saying this will not exempt you from the result. Among one billion people in India, how many know every law of the government? None. Even among lawyers, one may say, "I practice criminal law; I do not know civil law." Yet when a crime occurs, the government punishes everyone according to the law. The judge does not excuse someone who pleads ignorance by saying, "Sir, I am uneducated; how would I know the law?" Everyone is held accountable.
Similarly, God says, "You must know the teachings of the scriptures and the Vedas. Why did you not go to the saints? Why did you not learn from them? Why were you careless? You will not be excused - you will face the consequences. Having received a human body, it is your duty to learn spiritual knowledge. For the sake of your body, you went everywhere to gain worldly knowledge. Why did you not do so for the soul? You cannot be excused for that. You should have gone to the Guru and understood the essence of the scriptures. Then, you would not have remained careless."
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