God and saints remain pure and correct within, even though their external behavior may sometimes appear flawed. In other words, they seem to perform actions of lust, anger, greed, and so on. Arjun, Hanuman, Prahlad, and others committed acts of killing, yet their minds remained untainted.
However, worldly people are the opposite - they are impure within while appearing fine externally. They harbor ill feelings toward others internally but behave sweetly outwardly. You must practice the opposite - remain undisturbed from within, but when necessary, act outwardly as if you are disturbed.
Actors perform scenes of love or enmity in films, even engaging in physical fights and displaying various expressions as the scene unfolds. Yet they feel none of those emotions internally - they act only to earn money. Similarly, you must act externally according to circumstances while remaining calm and balanced within.
Sadhak's Question - Maharaj Ji, how can we maintain two types of behavior? At first, anger arises from within - how can we hide it?
Shri Maharaj Ji's Answer -
You already display two types of behavior in the world every day - you do this all the time. There are many examples:
- You do not want a certain person to visit your home, yet when he arrives, you greet him with a smile, saying, "Please come in! Sit down." and then call out, "Bring tea for him." This is how you interact with everyone.
- If your boss scolds you, you bow down and say, "Yes, sir!" But from within, you think, "I wish I could slap this man! He speaks so rudely. He himself comes at twelve o'clock, but scolds me for coming at eleven."
- We have been behaving in two-faced ways since birth. Even a small child acts in two ways - he cries loudly, though there are no tears, because he knows, "If I make a loud noise, my mother will agree to my demand."
As people grow up, they must learn to behave in two ways in the world; otherwise, they cannot survive. You have to behave sweetly with everyone, even though you do not have sweet feelings for everyone inside.
Everyone already knows how to behave in two ways. People harbor ill feelings inside but appear fine outside. But you must learn to remain right within while appearing wrong outside.
To achieve this, two types of powers must be used -
i) Will power - control the mind through mental strength.
ii) Spiritual power - You must practice this according to the philosophical knowledge imparted by your Guru, the scriptures, and the Vedas.
Then the internal disturbance will go away.
Even common sense tells you to do this. Suppose your wife, husband, father, or friend scolds or insults you. You feel hurt, but if you respond, their anger will increase further. Then they will behave even worse, which will make your anger flare up again. You will react more harshly, and this competition of anger may escalate into serious incidents - verbal abuse, violence, or even divorce.
So protect yourselves from such situations in this way -
- First of all, when someone insults you, remain silent or leave the place. Some people say, "If my husband scolds me and I don’t respond, he will dominate me." This is a wrong principle. When he says something, if you cannot leave, at least remain silent. Do not respond. He will speak a few sentences, but when he sees that you are quiet, he too will fall silent. If you do not become quiet, why will he? Therefore, you must practice this.
Read and reflect on yourself - cut off the anger that arises within through discrimination:
i) Think: "He said, 'You are selfish.' What he said is true. Saints, scriptures, and the Vedas have all told us this. And you have also understood that everyone is selfish - I am indeed selfish. All faults exist in me, so why take offense? What is there to be angry about?" Eliminate anger this way. Then, practice removing those faults through the knowledge of your Guru and the scriptures.
If you ever forget this knowledge and harsh words slip out, stop yourself immediately - just as when a woman's sari catches fire while cooking, she instantly puts it out. If she neglects it, the whole body will burn. Similarly, if lust, anger, or greed arise within, and you suppress them immediately, they will easily be subdued. The longer they persist, the harder they are to control.
Anger is one thing that causes unrest throughout the world. Speech is the most dangerous of all. Most household tension and unrest occur through speech, though there are very few real reasons. Therefore, speak less, speak sweetly, and if someone insults you, end it right there - don't let it proceed further.
ii) Think, "He insulted me because he fears losing some self-interest because of me. He is angry due to his selfish motive. This won't last forever. Once he becomes normal, everything will be fine. Therefore, I will not respond."
In this way, consider many such reasons. Do not let matters escalate further - end them right there.
Initially, you will not achieve perfection - you won't become free from anger instantly. But if someone's words make you 25% angry and you do not respond, later you can reason away that anger thoughtfully. However, if you respond, he will speak again, and you will reply - then that 25% anger becomes 100%. It will go beyond control. Therefore, the best remedy is to remain silent.
And the same behavior does not work in every situation. Your response should depend on the person -
- If someone younger misbehaves and you think scolding will correct him, then do so - the matter will end there.
But let us say someone older, like your mother, father, or elder brother, speaks harshly. If you tell them they are wrong, then they will get angrier because of their pride in age. Even if you are right, they will not accept your words. So remain silent before them.
Thus, behave according to the nature of the person and situation. But under no circumstances should you get disturbed internally - you must remember this. Wherever necessary, act humbly outwardly. Even if a man is weak but points a revolver at you, saying, "Hands up," do not think, "I am strong, I will slap him." No - he has a revolver in his hand. Quietly raise your hands.
So act according to time and situation. Being humble all the time is also dangerous, and showing arrogance all the time is also dangerous. You must use your intellect to decide how to behave with each person. One who behaves the same way everywhere can never succeed in the world. If he is too humble with everyone, ruffians will not spare him. And if he is arrogant with everyone, he cannot benefit from the elders.
dākṣiṇyaṃ svajane dayā parijane śāṭhyaṃ sadā durjane prītiḥ sādhujane nayo nṛpajane vidvajjane cārjavam |
śauryaṃ śatrujane kṣamā gurujane nārījane...
Different behavior with everyone -
Behave lovingly with your own people, show compassion toward the poor, surrender to saints and sages, show respect toward the learned, and display valor toward enemies - only the one who behaves appropriately according to circumstances can succeed in the world.
Even when expressing anger outwardly, ensure it does not arise within. That is the key point. If anger arises and your heart burns, both your spiritual power and the other person's peace are destroyed. You abuse him, he abuses you - both suffer. What cleverness is there in that? True cleverness is the one in which you do not suffer loss while the other person suffers loss. And when both suffer loss, what is the cleverness in that? Then both became equal.
Therefore, act thoughtfully, considering the person and their nature. Everyone's nature is different. Suppose your father has a harsh nature—you must live with him constantly. Where can you run? So understand his temperament and act accordingly so that the matter doesn’t escalate and your work is not disturbed. This is wisdom. The one who applies the same formula everywhere is foolish - he will suffer everywhere and never succeed.
Keep this firmly established in your intellect:
Use your intellect fully in the world and keep the philosophy in mind - never trust anyone in the world, whoever he may be, for all are bound by Maya. Every fault exists in everyone; all lie for their self-interest. No one in this world can do anything for another's happiness. Therefore, do not be deceived into thinking that someone loves you. No one in the world has ever been born who acts solely for another's happiness. Everyone acts for their own happiness. When self-interest is fulfilled, the relationship seems good; when self-interest diminishes, love diminishes; and when it ends, quarrels and fights begin.
Therefore, be cautious of the world. This is difficult because you cannot know what lies in people's hearts, but you can judge from their behavior. The more someone bows to you and shows humility, the more selfish he is likely to be. Be alert - such people are dangerous. Do not tell them, "You came with selfish motives," but understand it within. You too should behave lovingly outwardly, but do not be deceived. Even if someone cuts off his head for you, know that he has a selfish motive. Use your intellect everywhere. Act in the world in such a way that your necessary work gets done - maintain social norms, sustain the body, and speak sweetly and sparingly. Worldly behavior is an art - no one fully masters it. But the one who understands it well lives more peacefully.
With God and the saints, behave in the opposite way you do in the world - stop using your intellect there.
pāṇḍityaṃ nirvidya bālyena tiṣṭhāset -
Renounce your intellect and surrender to God and your Guru. Have complete faith in them and become like an innocent child. Never fall in love with the world. Love only God and saints - they alone bring welfare to your soul.
Even if the world shows kindness, it is always for selfish reasons. The world cannot give you bliss. Whatever it provides lasts only as long as self-interest remains. When self-interest lessens, love lessens; when self-interest ends, love ends.
Recommended books by Jagadguru Shri Kripalu Ji Maharaj related to this topic:
Bhagavad Gita Jnana (Set of 6) - Hindi
God and saints remain pure and correct within, even though their external behavior may sometimes appear flawed. In other words, they seem to perform actions of lust, anger, greed, and so on. Arjun, Hanuman, Prahlad, and others committed acts of killing, yet their minds remained untainted.
However, worldly people are the opposite - they are impure within while appearing fine externally. They harbor ill feelings toward others internally but behave sweetly outwardly. You must practice the opposite - remain undisturbed from within, but when necessary, act outwardly as if you are disturbed.
Actors perform scenes of love or enmity in films, even engaging in physical fights and displaying various expressions as the scene unfolds. Yet they feel none of those emotions internally - they act only to earn money. Similarly, you must act externally according to circumstances while remaining calm and balanced within.
Sadhak's Question - Maharaj Ji, how can we maintain two types of behavior? At first, anger arises from within - how can we hide it?
Shri Maharaj Ji's Answer -
You already display two types of behavior in the world every day - you do this all the time. There are many examples:
As people grow up, they must learn to behave in two ways in the world; otherwise, they cannot survive. You have to behave sweetly with everyone, even though you do not have sweet feelings for everyone inside.
Everyone already knows how to behave in two ways. People harbor ill feelings inside but appear fine outside. But you must learn to remain right within while appearing wrong outside.
To achieve this, two types of powers must be used -
i) Will power - control the mind through mental strength.
ii) Spiritual power - You must practice this according to the philosophical knowledge imparted by your Guru, the scriptures, and the Vedas.
Then the internal disturbance will go away.
Even common sense tells you to do this. Suppose your wife, husband, father, or friend scolds or insults you. You feel hurt, but if you respond, their anger will increase further. Then they will behave even worse, which will make your anger flare up again. You will react more harshly, and this competition of anger may escalate into serious incidents - verbal abuse, violence, or even divorce.
So protect yourselves from such situations in this way -
Read and reflect on yourself - cut off the anger that arises within through discrimination:
i) Think: "He said, 'You are selfish.' What he said is true. Saints, scriptures, and the Vedas have all told us this. And you have also understood that everyone is selfish - I am indeed selfish. All faults exist in me, so why take offense? What is there to be angry about?" Eliminate anger this way. Then, practice removing those faults through the knowledge of your Guru and the scriptures.
If you ever forget this knowledge and harsh words slip out, stop yourself immediately - just as when a woman's sari catches fire while cooking, she instantly puts it out. If she neglects it, the whole body will burn. Similarly, if lust, anger, or greed arise within, and you suppress them immediately, they will easily be subdued. The longer they persist, the harder they are to control.
Anger is one thing that causes unrest throughout the world. Speech is the most dangerous of all. Most household tension and unrest occur through speech, though there are very few real reasons. Therefore, speak less, speak sweetly, and if someone insults you, end it right there - don't let it proceed further.
ii) Think, "He insulted me because he fears losing some self-interest because of me. He is angry due to his selfish motive. This won't last forever. Once he becomes normal, everything will be fine. Therefore, I will not respond."
In this way, consider many such reasons. Do not let matters escalate further - end them right there.
Initially, you will not achieve perfection - you won't become free from anger instantly. But if someone's words make you 25% angry and you do not respond, later you can reason away that anger thoughtfully. However, if you respond, he will speak again, and you will reply - then that 25% anger becomes 100%. It will go beyond control. Therefore, the best remedy is to remain silent.
And the same behavior does not work in every situation. Your response should depend on the person -
But let us say someone older, like your mother, father, or elder brother, speaks harshly. If you tell them they are wrong, then they will get angrier because of their pride in age. Even if you are right, they will not accept your words. So remain silent before them.
Thus, behave according to the nature of the person and situation. But under no circumstances should you get disturbed internally - you must remember this. Wherever necessary, act humbly outwardly. Even if a man is weak but points a revolver at you, saying, "Hands up," do not think, "I am strong, I will slap him." No - he has a revolver in his hand. Quietly raise your hands.
So act according to time and situation. Being humble all the time is also dangerous, and showing arrogance all the time is also dangerous. You must use your intellect to decide how to behave with each person. One who behaves the same way everywhere can never succeed in the world. If he is too humble with everyone, ruffians will not spare him. And if he is arrogant with everyone, he cannot benefit from the elders.
dākṣiṇyaṃ svajane dayā parijane śāṭhyaṃ sadā durjane prītiḥ sādhujane nayo nṛpajane vidvajjane cārjavam |
śauryaṃ śatrujane kṣamā gurujane nārījane...
Different behavior with everyone -
Behave lovingly with your own people, show compassion toward the poor, surrender to saints and sages, show respect toward the learned, and display valor toward enemies - only the one who behaves appropriately according to circumstances can succeed in the world.
Even when expressing anger outwardly, ensure it does not arise within. That is the key point. If anger arises and your heart burns, both your spiritual power and the other person's peace are destroyed. You abuse him, he abuses you - both suffer. What cleverness is there in that? True cleverness is the one in which you do not suffer loss while the other person suffers loss. And when both suffer loss, what is the cleverness in that? Then both became equal.
Therefore, act thoughtfully, considering the person and their nature. Everyone's nature is different. Suppose your father has a harsh nature—you must live with him constantly. Where can you run? So understand his temperament and act accordingly so that the matter doesn’t escalate and your work is not disturbed. This is wisdom. The one who applies the same formula everywhere is foolish - he will suffer everywhere and never succeed.
Keep this firmly established in your intellect:
Use your intellect fully in the world and keep the philosophy in mind - never trust anyone in the world, whoever he may be, for all are bound by Maya. Every fault exists in everyone; all lie for their self-interest. No one in this world can do anything for another's happiness. Therefore, do not be deceived into thinking that someone loves you. No one in the world has ever been born who acts solely for another's happiness. Everyone acts for their own happiness. When self-interest is fulfilled, the relationship seems good; when self-interest diminishes, love diminishes; and when it ends, quarrels and fights begin.
Therefore, be cautious of the world. This is difficult because you cannot know what lies in people's hearts, but you can judge from their behavior. The more someone bows to you and shows humility, the more selfish he is likely to be. Be alert - such people are dangerous. Do not tell them, "You came with selfish motives," but understand it within. You too should behave lovingly outwardly, but do not be deceived. Even if someone cuts off his head for you, know that he has a selfish motive. Use your intellect everywhere. Act in the world in such a way that your necessary work gets done - maintain social norms, sustain the body, and speak sweetly and sparingly. Worldly behavior is an art - no one fully masters it. But the one who understands it well lives more peacefully.
With God and the saints, behave in the opposite way you do in the world - stop using your intellect there.
pāṇḍityaṃ nirvidya bālyena tiṣṭhāset -
Renounce your intellect and surrender to God and your Guru. Have complete faith in them and become like an innocent child. Never fall in love with the world. Love only God and saints - they alone bring welfare to your soul.
Even if the world shows kindness, it is always for selfish reasons. The world cannot give you bliss. Whatever it provides lasts only as long as self-interest remains. When self-interest lessens, love lessens; when self-interest ends, love ends.
Recommended books by Jagadguru Shri Kripalu Ji Maharaj related to this topic:
Bhagavad Gita Jnana (Set of 6) - Hindi
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