A Sufi Saint has so well said :
“ A nightingale falls in love with the Rose. The whole love affair begins with just one look from God.”
That is how it all started .....a loving bond with MahaSakhi Vishakha - Our very own Badi Didi. It all started with one kind look, a gentle smile, and a soft touch from her as she ran her finger on my face on my first visit to Jagadguru Dham, Mangarh. Least did I know then that her gestures had already cast a lasting impression in my soul and were just the beginning of a lifelong affair which, God willing, will continue in the hall of eternity.
Sometime back in 2002, a completely new world opened up for me. A realm where entry is impossible unless God himself wants a ‘jeev’ ( soul) to start the journey is how I look at it, and that is how it has been ever since. Without Him being causelessly merciful, this journey is impossible. After all, what might a moth have in front of the mighty Sun! On the other hand, the Sun, out of love and compassion, asks nothing in return for its light and gives life to the whole of Earth. For a love like that, how does the Earth reciprocate? She silently surrenders while remaining totally indebted. A love without conditions attached to it alone can work such wonders! We know that the song of Love is in every heart. It is visible in all life forms around us. Existing deep in the core of being human, it is this Love alone that gives life to us. Had it not been for Love, we would have been deprived of God’s greatest miracle, and had it not been for Badi Didi, I could have never known the power of such unconditional Love! I know I will forever remain indebted to her for this foretaste of sweet love towards Hari/Guru.
True to her name ‘Vishakha’, Badi Didi is a special branch of Love that has spread out from the gigantic tree upon whom the whole world looks upon with deep reverence as Jagadguruttam Sri Kripaluji Maharaj. And no doubt, to get to the crown of a tree, one does need the help of its branches. Likewise, to reach Sri Maharajji at times, I feel the access door goes past Ammaji and Badi Didi. Sri Maharajji, being the Jagadguru - Master of the Universe - there were times I was hesitant to approach Him, although He was easily available for everyone. On the other hand, around Badi Didi, lighter moments would unfold that helped me all the more in enriching my personal faith, love, and respect towards my Sadhgurudev and his immediate family members. Sri Maharajji's emphasis has remained for us on forming a loving bond with Yugal Sarkar in order to make them an integral part of our existence. I always feel Badi Didi teaches us by action on how to accomplish these traits.
Even a small gesture from her is enough to send me into bliss. More like a little child who is all eyes for its mother, and a slight attention is enough for her to squeal in delight, is the kind of effect Badi Didi has on me. Sometimes it can be a loving glance, at times a beautiful smile, and many times the way she addresses me. Nothing is sweeter than the moments she hails me out as ‘Oye Pagaliya’ ( O mad One!) and Nalayak ( good for nothing). Once I wrote to Her asking for Her blessings so that I could always remain a ‘nalayak’ of Her, Sri Maharajji and Ammaji. The next day, on Skype, without saying a word, Badi Didi spoke to me through her eyes and that bewitching smile of hers... a language only the two of us understood in a room where few others were also present. I knew I had received her approval! All these may seem simple ways of reaching out, yet, coming from Badi Didi, they have the power to touch my soul in an inexpressible manner, the likes of which can only be experienced.
I would like to ponder upon Badi Didi as a manifestation of MahaSakhi Visakha based on her characteristics, which resemble those of ‘Astha MahaSakhi Visakha’ herself (one of the eight prominent MahaSakhis of Kishori ju) as described in ‘padams’ written by Sri Maharajji, and secondly, due to an incident that took place at Ma Padma Colony in Sita Paila, Nepal. As far as I can recall, this was back in 2012 when Sri Maharajji and Didis, along with an entourage of devotees, were hosted by one of the devotee couples in Kathmandu (R.K. & S.K.). With devotees who had come locally and from all around the world, Ma Padma Colony was flooded with Satsangis. A temporary but massive tent house was set up as the Sadhana hall, as the colony was still going through most of its construction phase.
One afternoon, satsang was in session. Sri Maharajji, seated at a distance from the three Didis, was swaying gently to the voice of Sushwari Didi singing 'Sakhi Sakhiyan Sardar Visakha Sakhi’. What happened next had the whole tent house up on their feet cheering in joy and doing Jai ghosh! Sri Maharajji summoned Badi Didi to come closer, and when she did, He held her by one hand and looked at the devotees while pointing to Badi Didi. He said, “ Kahin yeh wohi to nahi! Kahin yeh wohi to nahi!.” Can this be Her (meaning Visakha MahaSakhi)? Badi Didi, with her palms folded in a gesture of ‘namaste’, stooped low and seemed to melt in utmost humility, shyness, and deep reverence for her Sadhgurudev. The sight was worth it to behold. It was like Jagadguruttam revealed who had descended as His eldest daughter! To us, it is enough proof. Love is often seen as an emotion driven by feelings and intuition, rather than by rational thought or logical reasoning. Great Masters of Bhakti tradition rightfully say that in the realm of ‘bhakti’, logical reasoning stands no chance...it can only work for the ‘gyanis’ and ‘yogis’. More than Badi Didi being a divine manifestation, I love to relate to her as my elder sister, a motherly figure, a mentor in her own right. I must admit I have not so far come across a female as feminine as her. Like her father, her attraction and beauty are out of this world. It is almost like both know some form of ‘Vasikaran Mantra’- whosoever comes close to them once will stay theirs for good. It is said that a person bitten by a King Cobra dies without asking for water. Likewise, one loving glance from Badi Didi or Sri Maharajji is enough to leave a ‘jeev’ praying for more grace, never truly quenched! Such is their magnanimity - their Charm! The Vedas, too, declare that the Master you seek to serve and please is your own soul and that the pleasure of the soul lies in the divine alone. One can experience the truth of this statement in the service rendered towards Sri Maharajji, and Badi Didi is always pleased when we are eager to serve Hari/Guru. The sincerity and purity with which we serve Hari/Guru is what pleases Badi Didi, is how I feel, and not the external show of monetary or physical ‘sewa’.
The true ‘Karma Yogi Bhakta’ of Jagadguruttam Sri Kripaluji Maharaj is our Badi Didi. Her love for the implementation of action is apparent in all three ashrams belonging to Jagadguru Kripalu Parishat. Be it the temples, hospitals, buildings, canteens, schools, colleges, the source of Sri Maharajji’s literature-books, vdos, audios, dvds, various social platforms, her pictures and paintings...in it all reflects Her vision, Her dedication, and Her leadership qualities alongside Her father, Jagadguruttam Sri Kripaluji Maharaj. During my stay in Mussoorie, I had a first-hand experience of how Didis take care of even minute details in making things comfortable for Sri Maharajji’s Satsangees. The one and only aim of their life is to serve Sri Maharajji and give us that much-needed gentle push time and again, in order to expedite our sewa, knowing that life passes by in the wink of an eye and death walks side by side.
I am neither academically qualified nor do I have loads of money to serve my Sadhgurudev, and yet never once did Sri Maharajji, Amma, and Didis make me feel unwanted and puny. In fact, the bliss that I derived back in those days by simply sweeping and mopping the floors in Sri Jagadguru Dham Mangadh and Radha Kunj, Mussoorie, I have never tasted the likes of that kind of bliss anywhere else thereafter. Sri Maharajji says it is always the ‘Sachham’ who can serve the ‘Aasachham’ and not the other way around, and Badi Didi has helped in fueling this all the more in my system. Whatever they ask us to do is simply in order to purify our own mental state, and whatever little service we are able to render to them is by their grace alone. These, in turn, engulf our own being with love so pure that it further strengthens our faith in Hari/Guru to serve with more zeal. For hours, I sit by Her holy feet holding those soft ‘Charans’ and gently pressing them while She continues to sort out pictures on Her laptop undisturbed. At times, she suddenly swings the chair towards me and says, “Kya hai,” and I, like a little child, am delighted to the core. These are the moments I take back with me abroad, and they help me to carry on in the mundane world to remain tied to Sri Dham Mangadh--to the Holy Five. Deep within, I know it is their grace alone that has me going on this path. I have no strength of my own.
Badi Didi is here to teach us the highest act of surrender at the lotus feet of Sri Maharajji. Giving up on her personal comfort and suffering for the spiritual welfare of hard-hearted souls like me, she never tires, nor has she ever once, have I witnessed that ‘tribhuvan mohini muskaan’ (like that of her father’s) disappear from her face. No way is she any ordinary being!
On the ill-fated day of November 24th, 2024, she sent a shockwave through the entire congregation with her earthly departure. Ever since, a question that will continue to haunt me is Why Her and Why in this way??!! For service to Sri Maharajji, she surrendered her all. Neither Thakurji nor Arjun interfered with Abhimanyu’s method of exit from ‘mrityulok’. Did the same philosophy apply in Badi Didi’s case too? Is that why Thakurji chose not to interfere here??? At last, I fail with all this rationalising and I turn to my heart, which simply wants to weep with child-like affection for Badi Didi and pray to Her for one last glimpse of Her smiling face and that She is safe and happy wherever She is at the moment. Moreover, it wants to convince itself that she is with Yugal Sarkar (Sri Maharajji and Ammaji ) in the divine abode of Golok once again, capturing them through the lens of those naturally deep black eyes of Hers. This is the only way I can find some solace.
I realize God chose to come to me in human form and perform ordinary pastimes with me while leaving an extraordinary mark in my heart forever, so that I know how to love Him. I can vouch that He did not come all alone but with His favourite MahaSakhi Visakha to kindle that fire of love and service in me for Him. This ‘nalayak’ ‘pagaliya’ of yours is helpless without your grace. I pray to both to keep me from straying.
Someone Somewhere
~ Shailja Arjel, Nepal
Badi Didi showers everyone with immense love, especially the children and teens in her presence. At the same time, she strictly disciplines us and ensures that we follow the rules, guiding us in understanding what is right and wrong as we navigate our spiritual journey. She often shares stories of Maharaji, helping us understand his personality and learn about the things he loved, even though I haven’t met him physically. Badi Didi also made sure I was well-groomed. For instance, in Mussoorie, she told me to cut my hair when it was excessively long and “stylish,” teaching me to present myself as a satsangi rather than with outrageous “stylish” hair.
Thank you.
Mohan Patidar
My trip to Mangarh Dham for a sadhana program is one of the most cherished experiences of my lifetime. In 1997, I had the incredible fortune of visiting during a significant time: Shri Maharaji’s 75th birthday and the opening of the second sadhna hall. Ever since joining satsang in 1992, just after my 21st birthday, I had dreamt of meeting Shri Maharaji and visiting Mangarh Dham.
Upon arrival, we were given a bucket, a bowl, and a silver coin for milk. I stayed in the first sadhna hall for six weeks, using the common outdoor bathrooms and toilets. As it was my first trip, some satsangees guided me, but I also navigated much on my own, as we all do on our initial visits. What divine grace it was to meet Shri Maharaji and the divine family in this blessed Kaliyuga.
One day, someone mentioned visiting Didi’s for gaasa. Unfamiliar with the term, I enquired and was instructed to meet at Shri Maharaji’s courtyard. I recall walking upstairs to Didi’s room, next to Maharaji’s room, to offer pranam to the Didis. Badi Didi was the first person I saw, sitting gracefully on the sofa. I can still vividly remember her serene presence. I introduced myself, feeling very shy and quiet. Ten minutes later, Badi Didi was making gaasa in ladoo form—it was incredible to taste. That was the beginning of my frequent visits to Didi.
In 2004, I met Shri Maharaji, Amma, and Badi Didi in Golok Dham. The next morning, we travelled to Orissa by flight. It was a divine and beautiful experience, with Badi Didi being very accommodating and caring throughout the journey.
Badi Didi took care of us at every moment. We, as foreigners, often gathered in her small room when there were no sadhana kirtans. Those moments were incredibly divine, with Maharaj and Amma occasionally visiting us there.
During our conversations, Badi Didi shared stories from her youth, including her education and time as a cadet. I remember seeing a photo of her in her cadet uniform. We would go for morning walks at 2:30 AM, with dogs barking at us, and in the evenings, we visited a park next to the ashram in Orissa. We also went shopping at the local mall a couple of times.
I also had the opportunity to travel to Tangi with Shri Maharaji for five days. Throughout these experiences, Badi Didi inspired me with her teachings about real-life living and the importance of visiting Shri Maharaji at least once a year. She advised me to be humble, dress simply but smartly, avoid speaking ill of others, and return next year, not after seven years.
Badi Didi’s inspiration and blessings continue to drive me to work harder and make Shri Maharaji happy. Her presence was a divine blessing, and I humbly keep remembering her words as a guiding light in my life towards attaining Divine Love Bliss.
For me, Shri Maharaji is the kripa avatar of Radha Rani in this time and age, and the three Didis are sakis, with Badi Didi being the leader. Badi Didi had the divine look, posture, walk, and talk of a saki, even around Shri Maharaji.
To increase our bhakti, Badi Didi composed special production DVDs under the VSK label, created beautifully decorated photos and cutouts of Radha Krishna, special Shri Maharaji murtis, specially designed Radhashami for sadhana, drinking bottles, and more.
As everyone knows, Badi Didi received multiple awards for her charity work, including the distribution of necessities to sadhus, widows, school children, and local villagers. I had the grace to be involved in physical charity sewa, feeding sadhus and distributing items to school kids on several occasions, which was a very humbling experience.
Over the years, I have had the privilege of being around Badi Didi. She fed us all-day food, coffee, lollipops, chocolates, and gave us prashadi of Shri Maharaji’s photos, Radha Krishna shawls (which I have in every color), jackets, hats, hand towels, cups, bowls, chains, mats, sleeping bags, and more.
“Do your sadhana with Roop Dhyan, do Roop Dhyan of pastimes with Shri Maharaji, do less in the material world, and come back home as soon as possible (to Guru Dham).” These were words of nectar from Badi Didi to me personally.
I was also directly reminded by Badi Didi to sit on the floor while doing sadhana and in the dining hall while eating food, as this would increase humbleness. As I have mentioned above, prashadis were given. Badi Didi reminded me of the importance of prashadis given to individuals. I once got told off by Didi for giving my silver cup prashadi to a pracharak—what a humbling experience.
After Shri Maharaji physically left, Badi Didi guided me personally on how to stay on this path, especially during challenging times within the satsang environment. Last Meri Bhakti Diwas and New Year, I spent my wonderful time with Didi, full of Divine Love.
During this time, Badi Didi put a Kripalu ring on me, touched my cheek with divine love, and gave me the message to remember Shri Maharaji, do Roop Dhyan sadhana, and keep coming back home.
The biggest blessing in my life when I was back at my material home was Zooming in with VSK. Just seeing Didi and saying Radhey Radhey was receiving Divine Love Grace.
Radhey Radhey,
~ Surendra Dutt, New Zealand
Badi Didi was a personification of grace, kindness, and humility. I still remember the day I heard of her leaving her mortal body: I felt an immense sense of loss and a vacuum in my life. I could barely move or feel anything for hours, and I was then engulfed by a sense of deep sorrow. Such was Badi Didi’s impact on me - I felt like she was always watching over me and my family…. I was so keen to come and see Badi Didi one last time, but couldn’t because of work commitments. Even though my physical body was in Dublin, Ireland (where I live), my mind was in Vrindavan. I felt her calmness and sweetness in the way she smiled so beautifully. I will always cherish the time spent with Badi Didi: in Vrindavan, Mangarh, and also in Mussoorie, where I recently saw Badi Didi - she was so relaxed and happy there. Badi Didi leads her life as an example of how devotion to Shri Maharajji and Radha Krishna should be: I hope to make her proud in my lifetime and follow her example. Love you and miss you always, Badi Didi..Jai Shri Radhey!!
~ Mahima Pant Joshi, Dublin, Ireland
Badi Didi was the eldest of three daughters of Shri Maharajji, and I loved her as if she was my own mother. She was very sweet and loving, & I loved her so much. I have a lot of memories of Badi Didi that I will always treasure, such as the fun we had on my first time in Mussoorie. It was a lot of fun when we played musical chairs. I cheated a lot. I loved to eat the apple she so lovingly gave me during the picnic. But unfortunately, I was very sad when she left this world. Her cremation was on my birthday. I really didn’t want to celebrate. All I wanted to do was cry that day, and I couldn’t wait for it to be over. Lots of love, kisses, and hugs, Badi Didi. You were my absolute favourite Didi. Please come back, pyari did!!
~ Mihira Joshi, Dublin, Ireland (Child -11 years)
I first went to India as a young, naïve girl in the early 1990s. At the time, I was studying in Canberra when I had the opportunity to hear from Sushree Gopeshwari Devi giving discourses on Bhakti meditation. Her words introduced me to the philosophy of Shri Maharaj Ji. After attending just a couple of her lectures, something unexplainable stirred within me— a deep, magnetic pull toward Shri Maharaj Ji. Although I didn't fully grasp his teachings at the time, there was a lure in his story, a sense of something divine that I couldn’t ignore. So, I decided to go and meet Shri Maharaj Ji in India that same year.
As someone from a fourth-generation Indo-Fijian family, my connection to Indian culture was primarily through the Ramayan, the Bhagavad Gita, and Bollywood films. My ancestors were brought to Fiji by the British in the late 1800s. And, living in Australia further distanced me from many aspects of my cultural and spiritual heritage. I had no idea what to expect in India, let alone at an ashram. My journey was filled with curiosity and a sense of
adventure, but also uncertainty about how I would fit into this new environment. I did not know anything about Shri Maharaj Ji, apart from his words that I heard from Sushree Gopeshwari Devi. So, it was no surprise that I had no idea about Shri Maharaj Ji’s divine family.
It was when I arrived in Manghar that I first met and learnt about Badi Didi and met her. The moment I laid eyes on her, she took my breath away! With her fair complexion, dark hair, simple grace, and mesmerizing eyes, she embodied everything that one could describe as an angel. She looked every bit like the descriptions of Radha Rani I had heard in stories. But as I got to know her, I realised she was so much more. She was my mentor, my sister, my mother, and my friend—a divine being who brought love and wisdom into my life in ways I had never experienced.
Every time I touched her feet, I felt a divinity that was beyond words. Her feet were so komal (delicate), and her words were so calming and serene. I don’t know how she did it, but she showered love onto everyone she met! And in no time, I realised that Didi wasn’t just a spiritual guide; she became my everything. Didi became not only a friend but also an elder sister to whom I could confide. I shared with her my experiences in Australia, my university journey, and the daily dilemmas I faced in life.
She became my mentor, often guiding me with love and wisdom. I had heard about Maharaj Ji’s philosophies and was eager to deepen my devotion. But I had no idea how to advance in my sadhana or communicate with him. Whenever I found myself confused by something Shri Maharaj Ji said in his lectures, or the teachings from other pracharaks or ashram residents, I would turn to Badi Didi. She taught me the ways to approach Shri Maharaj Ji, when to speak, and how to communicate from the heart. She explained his teachings in simple terms, helping me apply them in my everyday life. She taught me the essence of selflessness, of nishkam seva—serving without any expectation of return.
She was a mother to me in every sense. Not only did she guide me spiritually, but she also looked after me in ways I never expected. I was that familiar with Indian customs, and was eager to dress like her, but unsure how to wear a sari properly. She asked the older satsangis to help with that. She taught me the subtleties of engaging with others in Indian culture, including how to sit before elders with respect.
Didi noticed I was quite thin when I first came to India, and since I lived alone in Canberra while studying, she made sure to keep an eye on what I ate. When others brought snacks for Didi, she would always share them with me. She would lovingly ask me to take the snacks out from the cupboards myself and eat them, saying, “Hamesha khate peete dekhna chahati hum tumhe” (I always want to see you healthy and eating well).
She would always call me, showering me with an abundance of love. I adored how she would hold my chin, gaze into my eyes, and offer guidance or check in on me with such tenderness.
One time, I fell ill in Mussoorie. At that time, there were no hospitals close by or doctors staying with us. One of the older preachers, Radhika Sharan bhaiya, would keep medical supplies to assist satsangis staying at the ashram. Didi asked Radhika Sharan Bhaiya to take extra care of me and take full responsibility for my medication. She also instructed other senior ladies from the ashram to bring me (seb) apples and (santra) orange juice and milk to aid my recovery. When she was told that I didn’t drink milk at night, she came to check on me. And, when I confessed to her that I didn’t like milk, she asked if I liked coffee instead and arranged for coffee to be added to my milk so I could drink it. Such was her care and attentiveness.
I also spent many cherished moments with her in Shyama Shyam Dham, Vrindavan, especially during my school holidays when I stayed for months at a time. I would wait outside her room early in the morning, straight after lunch, and after dinner, relishing those moments when it was just the two of us before others joined. I was fortunate to have had so many intimate moments with her.
Badi Didi loved the garden behind the ashram and often guided us on its upkeep. She would walk around with secateurs, pruning dead roses and leaves. She told us that Maharaj Ji loved mogra – Arabian Jasmine - so she made sure the mogra plants were well cared for.
Then in the morning, Didi, along with Choti and Manjhali Didi, would pick the flowers and lovingly craft these garlands for Maharaj Ji, and her devotion in every act of service was palpable.
One day, after helping in the garden for a while with other satsangis, I became really tired.
Didi kindly asked me to lie down in her room and take a nap. She promised to wake me up when Shri Maharaj Ji came out. It struck me deeply that the person whom everyone eagerly sought to serve was the one who was taking care of me.
Sometimes Didi would just sit in the garden, and other devotees would join us. She always created an atmosphere of warmth and love, even allowing us to rest our heads in her lap if we sought comfort. She was a true mother, embodying selflessness and compassion.
Badi Didi would also often share stories from her childhood, sometimes bringing laughter to our hearts. I recall her telling us how, as a young girl, when she was schooling from a satsangi's place, a monkey had jumped on her back while she was bathing. She also shared stories of mischief, like the time she, the other Didis, and Chote bhaiya would eat mangoes in their room and hide the kernels under their beds to avoid waking Maharaj Ji and Amma (whose room was between their room and the kitchen) when they were resting.
Through every story, every piece of advice, she taught us how to serve God and our Guru with pure love. Her calm, serene approach to selfless service spoke volumes. She didn’t need to explain nishkam seva in words; she showed us how to live it. Surrounded by the distractions of the material world, staying committed to my spiritual path could have been challenging, but Didi’s presence made it effortless. Her unwavering example and commitment inspired me to remain steadfast."
The past few years have been incredibly challenging for me—dealing with my own illness, the loss of my mother and brother, and my father's quadruple bypass surgery, all compounded by the turmoil of the COVID pandemic. As a result, I wasn’t able to visit her as often as I would have liked. This is my greatest regret—being unable to go to India as much as I had hoped. Yet, I find solace in knowing that Didi understood and that she was merciful.
I vow not to let her final sacrifice be in vain. I commit to following the path she set before us, dedicating my heart and mind to my beloved Radha Krishna and Shri Maharaj Ji.
Didi’s presence in my life has been nothing short of a miracle. I often marvel at how fortunate I am to have met her, a divine being whose love and guidance changed my life forever. She made the path of devotion feel easy and joyful, and her actions continue to inspire me to dedicate my heart and mind to Radha Krishna and Shri Maharaj Ji.
I miss you, Badi Didi, more than words can express. You were not of this world, and having had the privilege of knowing you feels like a dream—a divine blessing. I just wish we could have held on to you a bit longer. I promise to honor your legacy by continuing on this path of devotion and selflessness, as you so lovingly taught us.
Love you always, Badi Didi. You will forever be in my heart.
~ Sarita Narayan , Badi Didi saved my life.
I was living in the world, going down a completely wrong path, until Badi Didi came into my life. She pulled her drowning son from the depths of the world and inspired me to dedicate my life to Guru Seva. To me, she was not just my Badi Didi but also my teacher, my best friend, and my mother.
As a teacher, she guided me in how to perform my seva correctly. She didn’t just instruct me with words of wisdom; she lived those teachings, embodying the ideal way to serve the Guru. Again and again, she reminded me of Maharaj Ji’s teachings, hammering home the truth that this life is our golden chance to achieve something meaningful, to move closer to God, and to avoid wasting even a moment in carelessness.
In a world where 99% of people are chasing worldly goals like money, name, power, and status, it was Badi Didi who gave me the courage to go against the tide. She inspired me to leave behind those fleeting pursuits and move to India to serve my Guru. Maharaj Ji and Amma are the wings of our plane… and it was Badi Didi who taught me how to fly.
As my best friend, she was someone I could talk to about anything. From silly stories about my patients to deeply personal challenges, I never felt any shyness when I was around her. Like true friends, sometimes we shared our stories with each other, and sometimes we sat together in peaceful silence. Those simple moments of sitting in her room, laughing innocently, are moments I will miss dearly.
Badi Didi was also my mother. Her love for her son is something I can’t fully capture in words—it’s better described in moments. Her caring hand on my face, feeding me prasad with her own hands, carefully selecting gifts and prasaadi jackets, holding me close after a long time apart, listening to and resolving my troubles, forgiving my mistakes no matter how big—they were all expressions of a mother’s boundless love.
But now, with Badi Didi no longer physically present, the question arises: What now? It’s easy to feel disheartened and think, “Badi Didi is no longer here, and things aren’t the same.” But this is not what our Guru has taught us. Maharaj Ji, Amma Ji, and Badi Didi will never leave us. They were with us, are with us, and will continue to be with us until Bhagwat Prapti.
Their guidance is as strong and unwavering as ever. We just have to remain diligent in our seva and sadhana and strive to make them proud. Badi Didi has shown us the way. Now, it is up to us to walk the path.
~ Dr. Madhav Patel (Prajay)
Badi didi: “Amor vincit omnia,” or love conquers all
“Binu karan karuna kar jaa kar”-
“Causelessly merciful”
- Sadguru Madhuri, Prem Ras Madira
I just have three stories about Badi Didi. These three stories will demonstrate to you, on a human level (if you are an atheist or a nonbeliever), the selfless nature of Badi Didi.
I met Badi Didi while being the most insufferable atheist, and I remember being sort of rude to her on my first interaction. She even asked me if I would come to India post-studies, and I pretty much said no. She simply told me that she was like my grandma, and I would always have a place in Maharaj Ji’s dham, no strings attached. Months later, my mum would show me a video of Badi Didi practically cornering my mum and pointedly inquiring about my health and studies after our initial interaction, and getting my mum to promise to take care of me. Finally, she told my mum that she loved me more than anybody else could conceive of in the world.
Badi Didi used to have us sit in her room when she came to Vrindavan. We would share silly jokes, discuss Maharaj Ji’s philosophy, or just sit in silence like trusted companions on a long road trip. Occasionally, Didi would offer us food; on one such occasion, I remember staring longingly at a makhan roti that Badi Didi had in front of her. Badi Didi, with her divine intuition, sensed that I was hungry and then offered a bite to me. She gave me another bite and then proceeded to feed other people in the room. We found out later that she hadn’t had anything to eat all of that afternoon and evening. The greatest part? She did not consume a single morsel of food till she was satisfied that everybody else had been fed.
My final story is of my time in Mussoorie. I happened to fall sick and therefore could not attend any of the fun activities that Didi organised. Badi Didi immediately recognised this and called me up, but not only that, she contacted my parents, organised a doctor to come and have a look at me, and phoned one of my mates from Barsana. When I didn’t improve, she told me she was going to come and visit me in my room! Who does that? Why would a divine personality in charge of a divine organisation with worldwide chapters, three charitable hospitals, dozens of free distributions and medical camps for the poor, and thousands of devotees care about an atheist with a slightly defiant personality? Why not? Because Badi Didi was the embodiment of unconditional love. She constantly strived to make us feel loved. She tirelessly worked to guide us in Maharaj Ji’s philosophy, for our own benefit. She was a Divine Being and in constant communication with Hari-Guru; she didn’t need to encumber herself with sinners and mortals. But we are all better off because she did. Love you, Badi Didi, may we never fail your wise counsel.
~ Dr. Abhishek Agarwal
Badi Didi was a radiant beacon of light, a living embodiment of grace, strength, and selflessness. Meeting her, whether for the first time or the thousandth, was a transformative experience. When I looked into her eyes, it felt as though I was reconnecting with a soul that had known and nurtured me across lifetimes. Her tender, luminous smile could dissolve any burden, and would leave my heart with a singular wish: that this smile should never fade. On rare and cherished occasions, she would gently cup my chin in her lotus-like hands, a gesture so simple yet profound. In that moment, it felt as though her boundless love and compassion flowed directly into my being. Her touch was a reflection of the softness of her heart, a heart that held the pain, hopes, and dreams of thousands. To be in her presence, even for a fleeting moment, was a gift beyond measure.
Beyond her physical presence, there are countless qualities that make Badi Didi extraordinary. To me, she shone most brightly as a leader, a mother, and a giver.
To the world, she was the President of the Jagadguru Kripalu Parishat trust, a leader of unparalleled vision and strength. After Shree Maharajji’s departure, she shouldered an immense responsibility—to carry forward His legacy and mission. What seemed insurmountable to others, she embraced with unwavering resolve. Under her guidance, the organization not only flourished but reached unprecedented heights. She led the creation of monumental temples like Kirti Mandir and Guru Dham, spread Maharajji’s philosophy across continents, and oversaw the growth of numerous medical, educational, and humanitarian initiatives. Her leadership was a perfect blend of strategic foresight and meticulous attention to detail. She would seamlessly transition between making strategic decisions for the future of our organization to meticulously curating the food menu for an upcoming event, as one example. Every project she undertook bore the stamp of her dedication and excellence. Despite the time and effort required to lead such endeavors at scale, she always made time for each individual in her organization, ensuring they felt valued and loved. Managing a volunteer organization of this magnitude would test even the most accomplished leaders, but Badi Didi did it with a grace and poise that left us all in awe.
Yet beyond being a leader, she was a mother to us all. Her love was limitless and unconditional. She knew each of her “children” intimately, remembering even the smallest details about our lives—our favorite foods, cherished memories, or personal struggles. Her words, full of wisdom and love, were treasures we clung to, guiding us in moments of doubt and celebration alike. Even when she scolded us, it was out of an unshakeable love, a mother’s way of molding us into our best selves.
Lastly, her selflessness was beyond comprehension. From the moment she rose in the early hours of the morning to the moment she rested, every action, every thought was dedicated to serving her Guru and others. Her days were filled with endless seva, and she never allowed physical ailments or external challenges to deter her. Through battles with cancer, the trials of COVID, and countless personal sacrifices, she remained steadfast in her mission, teaching us the true meaning of resilience and service. On a path that emphasizes selfless, exclusive, and endless devotion to the Guru, Badi Didi served as an exemplar of the highest accord of such devotion, inspiring us all. In her life, Badi Didi exemplified the pinnacle of selfless, exclusive devotion to the Guru. She gave us everything—her time, her energy, her wisdom, her love. Though her physical presence is no longer with us, her legacy and the values she lived by are eternal. She has left us with more than we could ever ask for, more than we could ever deserve.
While my heart aches at her loss, I feel a renewed sense of purpose—a duty to honor her memory by dedicating my life, and any lifetimes to come, to the path she illuminated for us. I can never repay the debt of her love and guidance, but I can strive to make her proud, to walk the path she illuminated with unwavering faith and devotion.
Badi Didi, you gave us the world, and for that, we are eternally grateful. May we carry your light forward, always.
Best,
~ Udgam Goyal
There are moments in life when even the smallest acts of kindness feel like lifelines. Once, during my training, I found myself in a low place. Out of the blue, Didi called, asking how I was. Her concern was like a warm embrace, her voice a soothing balm. That call, paired with her darshan, gave me the strength I needed to continue. Her presence was always like that—a source of endless love and care.
I recall an instance when she noticed my hair, unevenly cut and messy. With her gentle but firm demeanor, she instructed me to visit a parlor and get it fixed. “Ab theek hai,” she said afterward, with a smile that made my heart swell. It wasn’t just about my hair; it was her way of ensuring I felt confident and looked my best—a reflection of the nurturing affection she had for everyone.
When I think of her, I’m reminded of her tireless energy. Despite any challenges, she exuded strength and grace, always urging us to remember our purpose. Be it a Zoom session, an event, or an evening darshan, she brought an unwavering sense of devotion.
I’ll never forget my first visit to Mussoorie. She kept tabs on us, ensuring we were safe. When we arrived, a car was waiting to take us to Seva Kunj. At the gate, Badi Didi stood with open arms, radiating warmth. She wasn’t just a leader or the president of JKP; she was divine. Her greeting, “Aayiye,” made us feel like cherished beings despite our flaws.
Her compassion was boundless, her guidance constant. I often marveled at how she mirrored Shree Maharajji in everything she did. She never allowed rain, health, or circumstances to deter her; her disciplined life was an inspiration to all of us, a reminder to strive for our best.
Meeting her for the first time in January 2023 left an indelible impression on my heart. Her enchanting smile and radiant eyes felt otherworldly. In that moment, she said words I’ll carry forever: “Sab kuch Maharajji hain. Unhi se prem badao. Maharajji ko suno. Hum toh sirf unke messengers hain.” Those words encapsulated her essence—a living example of guru seva, selflessness, and unconditional love.
Her attention to detail was unparalleled. She noticed the smallest things about us, but it was never critical—always nurturing, always loving. Her encouragement felt like a divine blessing, her presence a reminder of the higher goal we all strive toward.
Badi Didi was, and always will be, the embodiment of love and devotion. In her, I found a guiding light whose legacy will continue to illuminate my life.
Best Wishes
~ Dr. Deepali Agarwal , Shree Barsana Dham
Where can I even start? There are no words that can truly describe what she has done for me and what she means to me.
In March 2021, during Maharaj Ji’s Guru Dham Mandir Inauguration in Kripalu Dham Mangarh, I had the incredible blessing of physically meeting Her and receiving Her darshan for the first time. I can still remember the glow of joy and energy radiating from her as she looked at all of us with that beautiful and loving smile of Hers. Before this first trip to Mangarh, I had no idea how dedicated Pyari Didis, and especially Badi Didi, were to serving not only Maharaj Ji but all of us. Badi Didi tirelessly worked day and night to ensure everything went perfectly—and it did. I’ve never experienced anything even remotely as grand and amazing as the inauguration of Maharaj Ji’s Guru Dham Mandir—and it was all because of Badi Didi, Majhali Didi, and Chotti Didi.
At that time, however, due to the pandemic and the large crowd, I wasn’t able to personally interact with Badi Didi as much. But by Her and Shri Maharaj Ji’s grace, I was able to come to Mussoorie in May 2022 for the first time. As soon as I arrived, Didis immediately showered me with so much love and affection—they treated me as their own son. Every morning, I would wake up and run as fast as I could down the stairs to see Badi Didi’s beautiful smile and radiant face as she sat with all of us, talking and asking how we were doing before the Daily Zoom began. Since then, because of how much they have given, I’ve been able to come to India to see my Pyari Didis 2-3 times each year, and each experience has been memorable and amazing in its own way.
In Mussoorie, there was a unique closeness with Badi Didi that couldn’t be experienced anywhere else. Sometimes, I would forget who she really is because she spoke to us just as a mother or best friend would. Her jokes and small comments would have all of us laughing so hard, and she could always brighten my mood if I was feeling down. But more than all the fun and laughter she gave us, her laughter was one of the most precious things in the world. I cannot put into words the things I would do to see her laugh again, to see that cute, simple, and divine smile.
As much of a friend and mother figure as Didi was for me, she also played a huge role in guiding me on my spiritual journey. Badi Didi lovingly reiterated Maharaj Ji’s words and emphasized the importance of doing sadhana, seva, and being deenatha (humble). Her love for Maharaj Ji was immeasurable, and you could see glimpses of that love in her eyes as she choked up while talking about Maharaj Ji and His teachings. Badi Didi often mentioned how her sole desire was to help bring us closer to Maharaj Ji and guide us as we navigate this world on our spiritual paths. She would frequently ask me for updates on my college and career trajectory, always giving me precise and detailed advice. On Zoom, almost once or twice every two weeks, she would ask about my studies and always emphasize the importance of studying hard and not getting too involved in worldly distractions. She would say my name so lovingly—“Eashan…”—causing a jolt of energy and excitement to shoot through me. I am so fortunate to have received so much grace and direction from her, and although I have often taken it for granted, I must make it my mission to remember everything she has given me and let that drive my career and spiritual journey.
I miss Her so much. Although I know she is always with me, it feels like there’s a burning hole in my life and the world without her physical darshan. I wish I had savored those last moments I had with her, as I always assumed Badi Didi would be there with us in her physical form. Without me doing anything to deserve it, Badi Didi has done everything for me—she has given me a level of love and affection I could never have dreamed of experiencing. I miss JiJi’s voice, her laugh, her smile, her jokes, her walk, her caring personality, her cute face—I miss everything about her. I can’t wait for the day when I will be able to see her again, and when I do, I will give her the biggest hug ever and never let go.
Best,
~ Eashan Sinha, USA, Georgia Institute of Technology
Here is another write-up from a devotee residing in the United Kingdom.
“My first meeting with Badi Didi was as a total stranger in a strange land, unable to speak the language and having little knowledge of the culture or people.
I have seen photographs and listened as Satsagis in the UK shared their experiences of their interactions with Badi Didi. When your mind paints a picture and your expectations rise, you are mostly left disappointed.
I sat in Maharaji Ji’s Angham, watching Badi Didi from a distance, noting Badi Didi’s interaction with other satsangis, the love that was transmitted filled my heart with joy, it was my opportunity to do seva.
I was so nervous. As I clumsily knelt down in front of Didi, my body trembled. Badi Didi, sensing my nerves, smiled a smile that spoke to my heart—a smile full of love and acceptance. Tears filled my eyes, and my heart was filled with joy.
Any fear I had disappeared, replaced by love and gratitude.
Badi Didi's selfless grace and unconditional love for one and all, no matter their social standing or education, radiate from deep within, demonstrated by Didi's gentle touch, kind words, and gracious smile.
That meeting changed my life, showing me what selflessness looked like, even after a long day and ill health. Badi Didi still made time and gave selfless love, inspiring me to be kinder, more thoughtful, less judgmental, and inclusive of all.
I love you Badi Didi,
~ Julie Dimascio, UK”.
Kripalu Bhaktiyoga Tattvadarshan
Visit : Hamari Pyari Badi Didi - Tributes - Part 1
JKP Literature
Visit : Hamari Pyari Badi Didi - Tributes - Part 3